TEN WAYS TO DISCREETLY GET RID OF SOMEONE YOU CAN'T SEEM TO GET RID OFF

by: Pedruita

1. secretly place little doses of poison (e.g. insect repelant, rat killer) each time, to his food. make sure the aroma of the food is much stronger. he's so caught up in that stupid tv show to notice the taste anyway.

2. cut off pieces of his hair while he's asleep. makes him ponder to himself, especially waking up and seeing some hair on the pillow. scares him off, that he doesn't tell you he's thinking he has some sort of sickness that he may have gotten from that other girl.

3. replace half of that 'facial cleanser for men' that he uses after every bath with rubbing alcohol. and blame his narcissism.

4. place half a bottle of glue to that newly bought hair polish / hairdressing cream he got for himself and forbids you to use. this time, blame the manufacturers.

5. pretend to laugh at his stupid green jokes during breakfast while secretly replacing sugar with salt to his coffee. blame your inlwas for messing up with the kitchenware and containers when they crashed to your house last weekend and complained of your cooking skills when you even worked for a hotel restaurant before you all met.

6. place a thumbtax or two under that foam cover he places over the seat cover of his car. boing! bonus points especially if he's in a rush to go out somewhere.

7. place a small dead roach to that shoes he uses for going out late at night (and coming home the next day). make sure the roach still have its juices. imagine the stink soon as he removes it when he tries to make out with those bitches he picks up at that low-life degrading beer house. make it two roaches to add points. his bad habit confirmed soon as he comes home without his socks.

8. spill cooking oil on the steps where he inconsiderately places his stinky shoes when you told him a million times not to leave his shoes there everytime he arrives home. either he will slip and bump his head on the wall or his butt on the floor, or he steps on them barefooted (remember, he's not wearing that roachy socks) and would have a hard time removing it with water. he barely uses soap anyway.

9. intentionally, but act innocently, place his atm card to his extremely shopping addict sister's room between a folded paper with the pin code written and wait for results. better his sister launder the money than him spend it on cheap immitation jewelry and dirty rodent infested motel where he takes those bitches from work. and tell him you (without him, coz he can't stand the humiliation of living with your family anyway) would live with your relatives before you starve to death.

10. and if everything fails and he's still there... just stab him with that six inched-shears your using to cut open the plastic cover of those newly bought blank cds he forcedly commands you to use to burn those porn videos he got from his perverted pals. coz he's so dumb to know how to operate the pc. pff.. he doesn't even know you have a copy of this article on your desktop. stab at your heart's content girlfriend!

and claim for innocence due to mental disorder in court (in case someone sues)

---

note: coz you're crazy enough to try these anyway.. LMAO!!!!! (*laughing in a squeeching witch-like tone) eehhhiiihiiihiiihiiiiii.....